is how I feel. figuratively, speaking, of course. I feel happy, and then I feel so unbelievably sad.
I feel tired all the time, though. that doesn't change. not ever.
perhaps I am sick. I hope I am sick. then, I will eventually get better and this will stop.
it needs to stop.
I feel terrible. sometimes I just can't handle it. I get overwhelmed and need to leave. it's like a switch that goes off and I begin to shatter. then I just need to go break into pieces in private. not in the crying sense breaking into pieces, though; more in the literal sense of turing into a pile of rubble. I disintegrate like an old statue or something. it's stupid.
it generally doesn't stop on it's own either. someone needs to stick me back together.
scotch tape and glue sticks.
that's what I am these days.
I do like arts and crafts.
lovely.
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Is a, well I first was going to put a nice expression of feeling, I guess it is nice,
but it’s more than that what I really mean is this is deep, soulful.
I had depression a few years back I guess that’s an experience which should be shared,
Especially now I’m on the other side, which is the side where I can look back on it as a time that was negative but also quite alright,
a bit like how scary films, bad trips, or nightmares do make for good stories, good times and in a weird way good experiences or at least a different experience when you look back on them.
I’ve written some thoughts that are how I think about it now
You can find them here if interested