but for now we are young

I am a master of denial.  I cannot accept things to be real when I don't want them to be or when someone doesn't clearly tell me it is over and why.  Nothing is never--it's later.  I cannot accept the fact that things are really over with when they are.  It's not goodbye--it's see you later.  I am a closure whore.  I rarely get it, but I always crave it--for everything.  I need that last goodbye.  I need explanations.  I suppose that is kind of annoying for other people, but I can't help it.  I guess it's just who I am.  I sometimes wonder if it's bad that I can't let go like normal people.  I let go enough to move on, but never completely.  When it comes to things like childhood, old homes, old friends and cherished memories, I assume that I will have a chance to go back.  I won't.  I always forget that's not how life works.  I wish I could go back.  I want to experience everything again and again until I get it just right.  It seems like I have missed so many opportunities and like I never do things correctly the first time.
Practice makes perfect.
Too bad I only get one shot at this.


"...It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse."