When I use metaphors, I am very literal. Meaning, I picture the metaphor occurring when I use it. For instance, when I say “…if dig in the trash, I can retrieve the file,” I am picturing myself digging in a landfill full of manila folders. And the “trash” of course is not even real to begin with. It’s a metaphor, in a metaphor, in a metaphor. The computer is a metaphor for my brain. The “trash” on the computer is a metaphor itself. I forget where the third metaphor comes in.
No matter.
Sometimes I wonder why I sometimes stop being able to sleep normally. I never feel particularly stressed when it happens. Maybe I am.
I feel like I am trying to renovate my life, kind of. That’s stressful. It’s nice though. I want to be a better person. Doesn’t everyone though? I feel like that’s the real motivation. For everything.
The reasons for wanting it might be different and the concepts of what it actually means may differ, but it’s the real reason.
Some people want to be better so that can have power. Some people want to be better to find true love. Or a true friend. Or a true friend who is their true love.
These people have differing visions of what it means to be a “good” person.
I fall under the last category. Every step I take is to become a better person so that I can meet my soulmate and have them want me as much as I want them.
My soulmate is going to be someone worthwhile. He (or she, I shouldn’t be narrow-minded and completely rule that out) will be smart. And creative. And nice. But, at the same time, he won’t be so nice that he forgets to take care of himself first. I believe that self always comes first. Of course, you should always help others, even if it means sacrificing.
That may seem contradictory but it’s not, and it’s not contradictory because by helping other people I believe that you make yourself a better person.
Everything is selfish. Everyone is selfish. People love to be loved in return. People give to get. There’s nothing wrong with it.
People who don’t seem selfish are the worst. I feel like they all have ulterior motives. I feel as if we should all be more upfront about our selfishness.
We should be more upfront about everything.
1. I absofuckinglutely adore you.
ReplyDelete2. You have such a unique and beautiful way of writing. If this is the way you think all the time, I want to take up permanent residency inside your head. Is that alright with you? It's a lot more interesting than everyday life.