double standards

I feel so stupid. There used to be something there. I didn't imagine that, did I?
I probably did. I'm stupid like that.
I just want to know what changed.
That's all.
I don't care about it, really.
I just want to know what happened.
I didn't want it. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. I didn't want it. I don't know why I didn't. I still don't want it.
I'm sorry I didn't.
I'm sorry you don't.
Why don't you?
Can't things just go back to how they were?
Did that part even change? I can't tell. I can never tell. Maybe that's why I care at all.
I liked that part. That part worked. That part could still work. That part worked well. It could work even better. Or at least more.
Or the other part. That part changed. But that part could still work, too. They didn't work together. It's a shame they never worked together. It's a shame I didn't want them to.
I know it's stupid to think about this. It isn't anything. I didn't want anything. I don't want anything. So why do I care? I really, really don't want anything.
You probably think that's a lie. It's not.
Maybe that's why.
I wish I made sense.
I think I think too much.
I think I need too much.
I think I need more.
Sorry.

Why can't you be like my computer?
One-sided expectations.





I am going to regret this. It will be taken to mean just what I tried to say it didn't. It really doesn't mean that at all. Oh well.
Honestly, I don't think about this anymore. It's just late and I am bored. My mind wanders to weird places. Sorry.